A C R E division OF MTA almost summer 2005 #7

Screwing the people, who move the people, who move the world.

Metro North Conductor Art Le May came home last night and found his house surrounded by SWAT teams. Our reporter was fortunate to pick up the news on the scanner and was able to get a first hand report from SWAT Team Leader Joe Scala. We got an anonymous tip that Mr. Le May has been hacking main frames all over the state. We had to react ASAP, the tip was traced to an office in New York City near Lexington Avenue. Art Le May was in shock and could not answer any questions. Mrs. Le May said that her husband can't even work the toaster and insisted that she never saw him turn on a computer. SWAT Team Leader Joe Scala became indignant, I know he did it. I know he is the one . Our reporter smelled a story and was on it. Not about Le May but Joe Scala. Mr. Scala looked strangely familiar. Do you work for Metro North, Mr. Scala?

legislative corner

MTACRE Legislative Director Jackal Lyn Gains has taken leave of his senses and will not be available for interview. MTACRE Tony Botalicko was over heard… nobody cares if he ever comes back. This reporter disagrees; Jackal Lyn was an irreplaceable source of amusement.

MTACRE officers sponsor a bake sale

This is going to be one of the most profitable activities we ever had, s aid MTACRE President Mickey Shawl. The pies, cakes and cookies were donated by the MTA, Shawl explained. It's a great idea he continued, MTA marks the MTACRE officers off union business to sell the stuff and we get paid doing it and nobody can do anything about it. This reporter was quite impressed when Pavala de Holarland showed up in his Betty Crocker apron. I love these events he said it touches my inner being, not so much for the cakes and pies but the apron…it's a classic you know . Surprisingly, MTA Ray Burnay also showed to help out, Oh, I'm just here to drop off one of my famous inter-office memos he said, Art Le May isn't here is he? He scares me . Mike E. Boil gave Ray a cookie and patted him on the head saying, don't worry, we got Joe Scala on the job, he's gonna take care it . Little did they know, this reporter recognized Joe Scala from the other night and is on Joe Scala's trail.

MTACRE offers new pope best wishes and a new cup

It the least we could do for the guy said MTACRE General Chairman Tony Botalicko. We held a special meeting and all of the officers including our friends at the MTA agreed that we had to send him something special. After a long hard debate MTACRE Dennis Berri nailed it … absolutely, he is German …s o he's gotta like beer …. Plus, we are going to need all of the blessings available to us.  MTA Gary Laperson could not hold back the tears, Dennis you would go and do that for us? Dennis quickly replied absolutely…as long as you pay, I will always be there for you, Gary. MTACRE Pavala de Holarland still wearing his Betty Crocker apron shouted, Me too, Gary! Me too, Gary ! Gary Laperson responded that's why ACRE is the best association money can buy!